I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
