worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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