Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
