I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
and you fell through a lawn chair
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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