She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
