This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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