I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
