So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
