He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
