the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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