he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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