There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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