the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
