the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize