You can't special order awesome
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
