I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
please come you make the beer taste better
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
