i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize