We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize