I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize