if you like me you must not know who I am
one two three fourrrrnication!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
