Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize