Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
