Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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