But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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