Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Pants are for mortals
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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