he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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