Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
