end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
