thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
