dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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