We won't sleep together?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
