do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
