yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
this beer tastes like vomit already
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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