If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
