Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize