You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
