So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
