I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
