im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
