Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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