how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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