Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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