Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
