dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
