I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
