I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
