I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
