Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
