Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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