The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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