I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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