He is an equal opportunity slut.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
