somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
