Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sorry about my life...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
