So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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