Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
