What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
