What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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